How to get rid of a stalker and make the 6th form behave

More excerpts, because I can’t possibly sum-up everything.

February 12, 2008

Last night I got a talk about how I don’t have a boyfriend and will I meet my husband here and stay forever? I said my mother would kill me (this is my usual excuse for “will you please marry someone here and stay forever?” Thanks, mom) and besides my Russian is still pretty bad and my Kazakh is worse so it would be difficult to marry anyone I don’t understand. She said “Don’t worry, we will help you find someone.” That’s great.

February 14, 2008

I have been avoiding the school cafeteria because my not-so-secret admirer has started to frequent it and make my lunch awkward by sitting alone staring at me… After club he showed up to ask if he could walk me home. I lied and said I wasn’t going home, so then he asked if I could give him a personal club on Saturday. I told him I don’t teach on Saturday. He raised his eyebrows and waved up his hand as if to say “so?” I gave him an exasperated look, sighed, and walked into the teacher’s room as he called out “I’ll call you!” I sat in the room for a couple minutes thinking about the best escape route, and decided my best bet was out the back door to the outhouses. That way if he caught me I would be all “I’m going to the outhouse, a little privacy here?” As I came down the stairs I saw him walking down the hall so I dodged into the back doorway as a student was saying “goodbye miss Jessica!” and I said “shhhhh! Goodbye…” and ducked out the back. I went out past the outhouses, then by the elementary school, onto a road I didn’t know and continued on the back roads until I reached the center, where I decided I deserved some apple juice. Looking back, I realize that was a really risky move. As I came out of the store I heard someone shouting “Jessica!” and my stomach dropped, but it was my host father with the car. A getaway vehicle! I jumped in, literally, as the car was still rolling.

This guy needs to take a hint, I can’t be James Bond every Wednesday.
[You might be asking, what’s so bad about this guy? Just trust me]

February 15, 2008

My 6th form class was terrible yesterday, so I gave them a 3 in their discipline grade book. That landed them in a whole world of hurt. First they were yelled at by their homeroom teacher who told them that if Miss Jessica had any problems with them she would call parents. Then they were yelled at by my counterpart. I felt bad that they were yelled at so much, so we did the Bear Hunt and I think we all forgave each other. Each one of them came up to me after class and said “Miss Jessica. Yesterday. I’m sorry.” I think that means we’re in a good place again.

February 18, 2008

I’ve been making unnecessary stops at the post office for stupid things like “is this addressed correctly?” or “is the postage ok?” mostly because I’m hoping they’ll be all “you have a package!” No such luck today.

February 19, 2008

My host brother brought the rabbits into the house today, “Shhhhh, don’t tell mom,” so that I could meet them. Apparently in this house’s glory days there were 30-40 rabbits running around. I’m sort of glad I missed that era.

February 24, 2008

My sitemate let me borrow the first season of 24, and I was a moron thinking I’d only want to watch half of it this week. I can’t believe myself.

February 26, 2008

On our way to school we were talking to a woman who lives on our street and she asked me how old I am. I told her 24. “Ahhhh, well done! You don’t look any older than 20!” And this is why I have problems teaching 11th form classes.

February 28, 2008

Again during novice club, the bell rang and they all groaned “No! Not yet!” Granted, they didn’t want to leave because they weren’t finished coloring their dream vacations, and not because of the English they were learning. That’s ok, I’ve got a formula for club that seems to go pretty well: 1) Silly song (the stupider I look, the better), 2) Introduce vocabulary or grammar, 3) little game to practice, 4) let them draw to their little heart’s content 5) short silly song, then send them away happy. [A special thanks to “We sing silly songs” most of my best warm-ups come from that tape or from camp songs I learned as a kid… who knew ridiculous songs would actually help me after college?]

Happy six months in Kazakhstan to me (and the rest of the 19s)!