Goodbye, Harry

So I've finally finished the last Harry Potter Book and I feel like part of my childhood is over. The really funny thing about that feeling is I did not start reading the books until I was nineteen years old. I suppose it's about time I feel like my childhood is over, right?

Today I bought a good (giant) backpack so that I can visit strange and amazing places in Kazakhstan and keep everything I need on my back. I remember packing for Belgium five years ago and thinking that I was going to forget something uber-important. I felt a little less anxious, but still apprehensive when I was packing for Spain. I'm afraid my problem right now is that I am not worried enough to begin packing properly. Granted, I don't really need to be packed for a couple weeks, but I should probably start putting some thought into what I am missing so that I can go out and buy it...

Who am I kidding? There is nothing that I can take with me that will magically make the experience any easier, or me any happier. There will be fun times, there will be bad days. The right shampoo won't significantly change anything.

I wish I was always this level-headed.

Camp/ Burritos as Big as Your Head!

Camp was interesting... I went there every year as a kid, so going back to be a councilor was a completely different experience. I had five middle-school-aged girls in my cabin. One was ADHD/Bi-polar and she told me at least five times a day that she hated me, but then turned right back around and said she loved me about ten... so I guess it evened out more in my favor. Her best friend was in our cabin and they had a huge fight in the middle of the week, and I wanted to just sit down and tell the friend that it wasn't worth it to reason with the girl, she just wouldn't listen. I wish somebody had sat me down as a kid and explained to me that some people just do not reason. Anyway, most of my girls kept me busy, they also gave me a candle in my brownie for my birthday. Later that night I was thrown in the pool, maybe as a "Happy birthday" thing, and maybe it was just because I was sitting in the pool area fully clothed and that's what the guys like to do. Camp was fun, but full. I'm glad to be back.

After the camp experience, I drove to Nebraska to meet some people who were camping. The next morning Emily and I started on our drive to Illinois for... BURRITOS AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD! Back in December I told Emily that I remembered driving by a sign in Bloomington, Illinois that said "Burritos as Big as Your Head!" We both share a love for burritos, and we could honestly say that we had never received on as big as a head. After a little more research, we found that the place is actually called La Bamba, and that there were about five of them scattered in Southern Illinois. Our mission became clear.

We decided to make our dream mission, a reality. We arrived at my aunt Sue's house late Saturday night, so we slept and then drove to one of the two La Bamba locations only to find that it is closed on Sundays! We almost let this ruin the whole trip, and were about to begin driving home (we were going to make up for it by stopping at John Wayne's birthplace in Iowa) when we stopped in a Starbucks, explained our dilemma, and got directions to the other side of the city where another La Bamba existed. That one was open. We ate a burrito (we shared, and couldn't finish the whole thing), we danced a bit, and then we drove back to Colorado.

I know it sounds crazy, but it was a lot of fun.

Oh, and the Burrito was pretty good.

Mountain time

I spent a lot of time this week in the mountains with friends that I won't get to see much after this week. I will miss them. I will miss the mountains. Kazakhstan has mountains, but not all over. It's pretty likely that I will be living in "pancake-like terrain" so I need to learn how to not be dependent on the western horizon, especially when it comes to directions.

Anyway, I think it was weirdest saying goodbye to one friend. I don't see him much as it is, but I realized that this time I won't see him for two years. Two Years! Who will make me play frisbee golf in the woods? I won't be at the annual cabin "bash" for two years. It's not really that long, but it is sort of sad.

I'm about to leave for over a week. Here's the plan: 1) Camp council a bunch of 6th graders. 2) Go to Nebraska. 3) Go to Illinois for Burritos as Big as Your Head!

The Burritos are something Em and I have been planning since December. Yes we are driving from Nebraska to Illinois for some burritos, but we have to know... are they really as big as my head?

Idealistic Wanderlust

I sat on the roof watching some fireworks tonight and I began to think about how different my next few Fourth of Julys will be. Will I be with Americans? Will I forget? Will I have a perfectly normal day? Will I feel sad? I really don't know. And then I started to wonder about what, exactly, I expect I will have accomplished by this time next year. I will have finished the school year, I will have become familiar with Russian (Kazakh?) Will I have made any sort of difference? Probably. Will I be able to recognize that? Probably not. It's not like I will actually see if I have changed anyone's life, saved a life? Who knows. And couldn't I save a life in the US? Have I? Do I actually have to leave to change the world? I really think I do, but then, I have this craving to not be here.

But when "there" becomes "here" will I feel the same way?

A friend of mine and I were talking about wanting to stay put a few months ago, and I understand the desire to stay in one place for a few years. I want to have a consistent home, I want to sleep in "my bed" and have a permanent place to just be. For awhile. I think that's exactly what I will get for two years. I will have permanence, I won't be able to leave (easily), I am getting what I wanted, in a way. So why do I have to leave? To accomplish my goals? Or am I simply accomplishing something by going to a far away place? Where does the change begin? Was it my initial decision, am I making a difference simply by telling people what I will do for the next two years? I don't know. Right now, what I want is to go to Kazakhstan and have all my wildest-idealistic dreams come true.

Single-handedly changing the world is a stretch. But maybe if enough of us are equally idealistic we can make a little change for the better? Maybe that's just stupid, but I have to try.

New camera!

My sister was in Northern Colorado this weekend so we had fun playing with my new camera.

This is me and the dog playing dead. This is Danielle and the blue swingset (neat!)



And this one is really attractive.
All in all, a good weekend. Unfortunately it was slightly marred by the reading of a really sad book, My Sister's Keeper. I never want to read again, it was so sad. Thanks a lot, Emily.